Monday, October 10, 2011

Good Deeds

I walked to the nearest 711 last night to buy some cigarettes. I'd been having a bad day at work & was exhausted. It was 30 degrees and the relentless Chicago wind attacked me dead on. I entered said store, showed my ID to the cashier and walked out with a pack of spirits and a chill on my shoulders. The wind blew harder, I walked faster. I ducked in a corner space of a nearby building to light my cigarette. Two attempts; not bad. I'm asthmatic. Been asthmatic my whole life, i never "grew out of it." A few years back my mom found cigarettes in my purse. We sat at opposite ends of the living room. That was the first time i'd ever seen my mom more disappointed in me than angry. There were yells through tearing eyes; there were repercussions. I promised her i'd never smoke again. I kept that promise for a long while. I'm not a smoker, at least, not anymore. But on bad days I find my self reaching for a lighter and inhaling, just as I did on that day. The wind blew harder, I walked faster. I walked so fast that my wallet must've slipped out of my back pocket. When I got to my place I realized I didn't have my keycard. I freaked. It's a common situation, sure...but losing a wallet is like losing your identity, an aspect of your life, and more than just a small hassle. I felt irresponsible and panicked. I walked back to where i'd been  searching for it, digging the streets with my eyes. It got darker. I called my roommate. I returned  home cold & defeated. The commercials on TV mocked me with their anti-tabacco ads: "smoking isn't cool. smoking smells. smoking kills." I get it. I shouldn't smoke. Thank you cosmic universe. I fell into bed and slept.
This morning I got a call from the Chicago Police Department three blocks away saying some lady had turned in my wallet. I went down there after work. Everything was still intact. EVERYTHING. I had this rush of complete relief. It's nice to know that there are still good people out there; it's nice to know that I was indirectly faced with one of them. I took this as a sign, and I'm going to bum the rest of that pack off.
Thank god for good deeds. 

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